2017年2月23日 星期四

美式幽默的智慧-23

美式幽默的智慧-23

Funny Pictures Of The Day – 36 Pics - Daily Lol Pics:  本人並非旱起的鳥,也韭唱鷹。我不過是位某種永久疲倦的鴿子


We're sleeping on the wrong side of the bed no matter what, so...:  以前以為自己心情不佳,但好久以來都如此;所以我猜本性就是這樣

My Childhood Punishments have become my adult goals... totally my life!:   本人早睡,不離家門,不參加晚會。童年所受的懲罰,成了成年時努力目標

Funny Pictures Of The Day � 32 Pics:   今天在星巴,看到一個人獨自坐著喝咖啡,沒有帶手機或筆電,活像神經病似的

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie - http://themindsjournal.com/if-you-are-lonely-dim-all-lights-and-put-on-a-horror-movie/:   如果你寂寞,把燈光變暗,放一部恐怖片來看。過了一會兒,就不會感到弧單了

Me in the shower:  2% washing. 8% singing. 90% winning fake arguments.:  正在淋浴中的我:百分之二的時間在洗澡;百分之唱歌;百分之九十虚擬爭論中嬴了



I'm just gonna said this one day I absolutely hate lame interview questions.. When i hire my employees I'm going to Just make them prepare jokes if i laugh you're Hired!:   面試官:你為何要這份工作? 答:哦,我一向十分關心,自己不會因失業而餓死


Funny Pictures Of The Day - 50 Pics:  我敢說,之所以叫核桃牛奶,乃因為無人會理直氣壯地說「它是核仁果汁

Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body.:   死後,本人被香煙醺熱的屍體火化乃本人的遺願

Experts don't have to do studies, research, power point or pie charts at any university to figure this one out...:   為何衛生紙也要廣告?有誰不買? (毛澤東、朱德和林彪吧!!)

"Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons, and electrons. They forgot to mention morons":   科學家說宇宙由中子、質子、和電子組成。他們忘了提笨蛋(morons,和其他三字相同,均有-on結尾,當然,西瓜-water melon也相同


 I feel like this too, Kermit. All of the time.                              …: 喂,請上帝聽電話?因為這幾傢伙,要我破你告誡我們的十誡中,至少四誡

We've officially reached that annoying time of year where it's sweater weather…:   惱人的氣溫多變時節已到,此時早上泠得穿毛衣,中午熱得中暑(所謂二八亂穿衣嗎??)


ENTJ - We're scary good at reading people. So if you provoke us into a rare fury we will use all the nasty little things we know about you to rip you to pieces. I NEVER expected this to be as big as it is, but I'm glad because it makes all of us take a step back and consider our priorities!:    抱歉剛才說的話,下賤又可怕;但句句實言

28 Funny Pictures for Today:   他擦乾她的淚水,但意外地,把眉毛也擦掉

Justin Lai (賴正雄)編譯

美國南加州

02/23/2017


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